How do you keep women happy
The relationship question: How do you think of a permanent traveler ?!
* Guest post by Carina @ Pink Compass *
Carina is the face behind Pink Compass, the travel blog for women and regular travelers. In June she starts the Solo on Travel Weekends for Women to help others take the first solo trip!
Comment from Conni:
I share many, but not all, of the views in this guest post. If only because I like women and there are some other aspects that I will soon discuss in another blog post for you - and also how the whole topic of love and relationship actually behaves with a digital nomad.
Nevertheless, I think Carina's contribution is very important and I like to publish it to give you a little thought!
And please read Carina's final comment at the end of the post before you leave an excited comment!
But now the curtain up for Carina!
For some time now, articles on a particular topic have been piling up all over the English blogs:
“Date a backpacker” here, “A traveler as a friend is great because…” and of course the counter-articles a là “Don't date travelers!”
And in the first sort I feel like we're being touted like hot cakes. But at the same time in the second after that, as if that were necessary ?! Because let's be honest - in these articles we sound like difficult to convey!
I am completely divided on each of these articles.
Because on the one hand I recognize myself one hundred percent in the properties that they describe, on the other hand I don't want to be criticized or criticized like fresh fish on the market.
The only thing missing is that at some point the article will come out “Take two for the price of one!”
After all, we are on the move so much that the timing could be arranged quite well.
My request: do not read such articles!
Because: You give a completely wrong impression of us!
In some articles it sounds like we have incredible qualities that enrich your life, make it happier and better. Oh, that's true too, of course! We are what you would call a “keeper” in English.
We would make your life happier, better and more beautiful. The only problem is: we don't intend to!
Not all travelers are automatically on the run. Not all travelers are looking. Which is why we are neither difficult to place nor the dream woman par excellence.
We have a life of our own and we are damn happy with it! Even better: We are so busy enjoying our life and filling it with an infinite number of goals, dreams and feelings of happiness that a completely different question slowly arises:
After reading all of these articles, why should a traveler consider themselves lucky that someone is considering starting a relationship with her?
Let's clarify the reality here:
To enter into a relationship with us is far too exhausting for you!
Sure, the cost-benefit factor to swarm around a traveler, to win them over and to be able to keep them with a lot of luck is definitely on your side:
You also have to work hard, but then - ha! - then you have made the perfect girlfriend. (Just google “Date a girl who travels” if you don't believe me!)
But until then, it's a long, rocky road ...
Step 1: getting to know each other
You will probably meet us first in a hostel kitchen. If you are lucky. Because that's where it's easiest to approach someone and just say hello.
Of course, this only applies if it is clear to you at first glance: the woman is great, I have to talk to her!
But that's unlikely because we're not the kind that catch your eye. Not because we are unsightly backpackers who don't shower for days and walk around in rotten clothes. But because we are so satisfied with ourselves that we don't even want to attract attention.
We're not of the "Look here I am!" and are usually absolutely satisfied with our appearance even without make-up and glitter. A summer tan and the happy smile that usually surrounds us are accessories enough.
So it is more likely that you will meet us in the evening in the open bar on the beach or in a cozy pub. In a group of other travelers. It can be more difficult to get to know each other, unless you are one of them.
Step 2: clear signals
We are not looking for love. Of course we wouldn't say no, but contrary to many other people and the belief of many people, we are not exclusively looking for a better half.
We travel to be happy, to learn, to be amazed and to LIVE.
So don't expect us to interpret every little sign, because most of the time we're far too distracted from our own lives for us to notice subtle, subtle signals.
On top of that, we will probably soon be in the next place or at least our heads maybe halfway there. I admit, not a particularly happy constellation.
But that does not automatically mean that we are not interested! But if you think it fits, spit it out! In the worst case (i.e. equipped with a basket), you will probably never see us again anyway ...
Step 3: give us a good reason!
Now we come back to the question from before: Why should we consider ourselves lucky that you are interested?
Do not get me wrong! Maybe you are a great person, but the common misconception is that we would leave everything for the right person in order to finally (!) Settle down.
I often feel like it's not getting through, so I'll say it again: We are not looking and we do not run away from anyone!
So we need a damn good reason to adjust our lives, to compromise, and to cut corners. Because yes, that is also part of a relationship, that is clear to us all.
The thing is ... our lives are already so rich in feelings of happiness, freedom, independence and fulfillment that it is difficult to add anything to it. Not impossible, but just really, really difficult.
I know what is now buzzing around in the mind. The word “love”. And I am not denying that this is a compelling argument. But neither is it the secret weapon that beats everything.
Love should be another piece of the puzzle and not have to be bought through restrictions, giving up your own dreams and certainly not freedom in any form.
That is what makes it so difficult. And complicated. But that's life.
And it gets even more complicated when you have even made the step to give us a good reason:
The biggest sticking point: How do I hold it ?!
If this answer popped into your head, you have almost won: Not at all!
Do you know the saying: release what you love and it will come back to you? That is exactly what your new motto has to be.
It's not about holding someone, chaining them to you or fear of loss. You have to delete everything from your head and your vocabulary.
Nowadays people are so independent, so free and self-reliant that the classic conceptions of relationships are, in my opinion, completely out of date.
So you now have two realistic options: You live your own happy life, in the certainty that we will always come back like a sore thumb and kiss each other the next time you say goodbye with the words: Be careful and enjoy the trip!
Or you pack your things and come with us.
It is simply unrealistic to believe that love alone would make us sedentary people. So don't even give in to this illusion. Perhaps it will keep us in one place a little longer than normal, but it will not change our being, our character and our inner being.
So don't worry if you feel like most of them and you give up after the first evening. That's OK. We don't even expect you to stay on the ball any longer because we know how exhausting it must be for you!
And in the end, it's more honest than expecting us to turn our lives upside down and act in surprise when that doesn't happen!
But don't expect us to sit bent in the corner afterwards.
The probability is far too great that we will then be on the way to South America to visit Machu Pichu. Or wander through temples in Thailand. At best we are lying somewhere by the turquoise blue sea, in the fine sand, thinking of you. Short. With a faint smile on his face.
And then while diving and snorkeling we pass the time with the sea turtles and coral reefs of this world ...
This article is to be read with a twinkle in your eye, so don't take it too seriously and don't feel attacked! Neither do I when I stumble across an article that says why I would supposedly be such great relationship material ... or not!
Be sure to stop by Carina on Pink Compass and follow her on Facebook!
How do you see it all? Discuss with us in the comments - peacefully;)
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