Why are emotionally abusive partners withholding sex?
Borderline Syndrome: Relationship
Borderline relationship: intense and unstable
Relationships are challenging for most people. They mean compromising, sometimes backing off and solving conflicts. These challenges are particularly difficult to overcome for borderline patients. The unexpected changes in mood and low tolerance for frustration of people with borderline syndrome put relationships with other people to the test. It is not easy to enter into a permanent love relationship with a borderline partner in particular.
At the beginning of relationships or friendships, borderliners idealize the other person. You talk about having found a soul mate. The emotions are very intense and intoxicating. However, it can be problematic when friends or partners have other friendships. Borderline people often have a sole right to loved ones. You get jealous quickly. Sooner or later, the initially adored person becomes an opponent. As intensely as the partner or friend was adored at the beginning, he is now hated.
Dealing with borderlines is difficult. For borderline people, the causes of their fluctuating emotions are difficult to see. The emotions are just as unexpected for the person concerned as they are for the person opposite. Borderliners quickly end relationships because of fear of negative feelings or of being abandoned.
The behavior of borderline people creates a multitude of negative feelings in their social environment: worry about self-harm, anger about their aggressive behavior, disappointment about their rash actions, pity for their illness. These reactions are quite natural when confronting Borderline. Partners and friends should allow each other these emotions.
Borderline relationship: partnership
Borderline people are very afraid of being alone. At the same time, they do not endure relationships for long. Often they jump from one relationship to the next. Suddenly ending relationships is a hallmark of borderline. It is therefore not easy to maintain a long-term relationship with a borderline partner.
The emotional fluctuations of a borderliner are often incomprehensible to the partner and the borderline relationship behavior can be grueling. If the partner reacts dismissively or annoyed, the fear of being abandoned increases in the Bordeline patients. Tantrums or attempts at manipulation are common reactions. Some threaten suicide if their partner leaves them. This can quickly lead to codependency in the borderline relationship.
The partner does everything for the person concerned and puts his own needs in the background. This maintains or even exacerbates the mental disorder. It is important that the partner recognizes the disturbed behavior patterns in the borderline relationship and seeks help. Together with the therapist, the couple can work to reconcile their own needs and those of the other.
Borderline: love and sexuality
Borderline patients who experienced abuse in their childhood have great difficulty forming long-term bonds. They are unfamiliar with relationships based on understanding and appreciation. At the same time, a strong longing for closeness is typical of borderlines. Sexuality is then used by many patients as a means of establishing a relationship.
Borderliners are often unclear about their sexual orientation. Because the difficulties with one's own identity also show up with regard to sexual orientation. Your sexual openness combined with impulsiveness can be attractive to other people. This puts you at risk of getting back into an abusive situation without noticing it immediately.
There is evidence that borderliners use sex to reduce tension and suppress fears. Some borderline patients seek risk, harm themselves and fall into an even deeper void.
Be it a love affair or friendship - dealing with borderline sufferers is always a tightrope act. The constant change between closeness and distance, the emotional roller coaster rides and the outbursts of anger are difficult to endure in the long run.
Many borderline people also often lie - because mistakes have no place in their black and white worldview or are left out of fear.
Borderline relationship: family
Adolescents with borderline disorder can change the dynamics in the family very quickly. They attract attention. Risky behavior, mood swings or even suicide attempts are part of the mental disorder. For borderline members, the behavior of the affected family member is often disturbing. They cannot understand the actions and often feel helpless.
Family members should therefore be careful not to neglect their own needs. Healthy siblings often have to fight for parental attention and care. This not only promotes a bad mood in the family, but also increases anger towards the borderliner. With therapeutic support, it is easier to maintain the family structure and to reduce the emotional chaos.
Borderline relationship: dealing with borderline
In particular, loved ones, such as the family, suffer from the extreme symptoms of borderline. Relatives and partners can turn to counseling centers for information and contacts to therapists. Therapeutic treatment, outpatient or inpatient, is always recommended for borderlines. In very few cases do those affected manage to get their lives under control without help.
Family members or partners are included by the therapist whenever possible. The therapist first informs the relatives in detail about the mental disorder. Knowing about borderline syndrome is an important first step in understanding the person better. In the next step, topics that lead to problems in the family or partnership can be dealt with. In the therapy, the relatives learn how to deal with the symptoms of borderline and thus contribute to recovery.
Therapeutic treatment can take many years because borderline is a very pervasive disorder. Dealing with the mental disorder is a demanding learning process for those affected as well as for family, partner or friends. The support of close people is very important for people with borderline and promotes a positive development.
The borderline syndrome is also a burden for the social environment. Relatives must therefore also take care of their own well-being. Get support and take time out to recharge your batteries.
Groups of relatives can contribute to the relief. There, relatives can benefit from the knowledge and experience of others. A Borderline relationship can also be enriching when you face challenges together. Professional support in this way is highly recommended and necessary in many cases.
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