Is it easy to get over someone

How long do you really need to get over your ex-love

How long does it take to get over someone? Well it depends. I miss some sandwiches more than guys I took to my family for Christmas. And I miss some casual bed acquaintances more than some of my old friends. From my own experience I can say that in the process of getting over someone with rational logic you don't get very far. To be over someone means: Thinking about them no longer makes you deadly unhappy and you no longer check his or her Instagram account at least once a day.

Most people who have had particularly brutal breakups will already be familiar with a widespread heartbreak formula. Be it from friends "who just want to help" or because they entered the following search query on Google at 2:00 am: "When will I no longer want to kill myself because of my separation?". Getting over someone supposedly takes half the time you were together. So if you have been with Sabine for eight months and then she breaks up because she “has to deal primarily with myself”, it should theoretically take you four months to banish her from your thoughts.

x / 2 = y. x is the time in months you've been together and y is the time in months after which you stop doing your Instagram stories for him first of all. Of course, the process of getting over someone is by no means that simple and easy. On the other hand, it's no wonder why people are so attached to it.

"The main purpose of the equation is to make you feel that your pain has an expiration date - especially if you have strong feelings for someone you've only been with for a short time. After all, those around you expect you to feel after the feel better at the appropriate time, "says a friend with whom I spoke about the subject. On the other hand: "We never have exactly the same romantic feelings for different people. How can you determine a general expiration date for heartbreak?"

Personally, it either takes me significantly longer than the calculated half of the time, or I immediately forget people - regardless of how long we were together. "Once I got out of an eight-month relationship and a few days later everything was fine," another friend confirms my experience. "On the other hand, it took me years to get over this guy I was never really with, but in the I fell in love in six intense months before moving to another country. "


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Even scientists have tried to calculate the exact duration of rehabilitation after a relationship. A 2007 study carried out in Journal of Positive Psychology was released, the magic number had been set at three months. 155 students who had broken up in the past six months took part. They had been in relationships of different lengths and were made up of both servants and servants. 71 percent of those surveyed said they felt noticeably better after eleven weeks. Another study from 2009 put the recovery time for newly divorced people averaging 17 months and 26 days.

“Average period” is a good keyword here: Every breakup is different because every relationship is different and every person has something different to say about the gossip and has to carry a different package. So there cannot be just one number that applies to all relationships - regardless of their quality or length. No equation that should be taken halfway seriously can be limited to the duration of the relationship and ignore how well, for example, your ex is integrated into your circle of friends or whether you can no longer watch a series because of him or her because you now always connect them with him . With the countless relationship possibilities that exist today - fuck buddies, boyfriends / girlfriends, multiple one-night stands, marriage, affair - we need to know what exactly triggers these feelings in us, which temporarily turn us into depressive monsters .

My easiest breakup was one where I got abandoned. With my girlfriend it was exactly the other way around.

So I tried to come up with a new heartbreak formula that was as simple and precise as possible. While we've already established that a mathematical equation can never calculate or predict our emotional development, sometimes we just need the mandatory silver lining - a date when things don't seem so crappy anymore. Even if it's unscientific and made up by a sex columnist.

You will probably complain that I left out a couple of important variables: whether you are a dumpster; whether you made up your mind to remain friends, or whether or not the breakup happened abruptly. I did not include these factors because, from my experience and the experience of the people I spoke to, they can affect the recovery process in completely opposite ways. So statistically, they might cancel each other out.

"Huh?" You ask now, not entirely without reason. Here's an example: My easiest breakup was one where I got abandoned. With my girlfriend it was exactly the other way around: this abandonment made it difficult for her to break away from their relationship. So it can go either way.

Photo: Garon Piceli | Pexels | CC0

And one more thing: If you decide to continue sleeping with your ex-love, then ... print out this formula, tear it to shreds, toss it in a barrel of fire and run straight into the sea. Nobody can help you anymore.

My new heartbreak formula is: x / 2 + j + l - t + k / 2 + r = y

x = The time in months that you were running. It makes no difference whether you were in a defined relationship or not.

y = The time in months it will take you to get over your or your ex.

J = x / 3 If you don't understand why you broke up and you try manically to piece together the individual signs and clues for the end of your relationship, and you also think that you actually make a great match, then you have to spend more time on the recovery process add. Ultimately, the denial and confusion phase (j) is dragging on considerably. J is about a third of your dating time. If the separation is clear and absolutely understandable for you, then j = 0.

l = 4 Are you sensitive? Do you get troubled by things quickly? Then please add 4 months. If not, then l = 0.

t = x / 3 If at any point after your breakup you have something with someone who is OK for sex and who is reasonably personable, take a chunk away. If you're not into distraction petting, then t = 0. A man I spoke to on this topic said to me, "Having sex with a new person is probably the fastest way to get rid of persistent feelings Especially if you can convince yourself that the sex is better now. Relationships often take the form of a psychosexual struggle and nothing helps like leaving someone behind with the belief that they have emerged as the winner of it all be."

k = How many times a day you visit his or her social media profile.

r = 3 If you aren't blocking your ex so that he or she can keep watching your Instagram stories and you feel like he or she is still interested in you, add three months. If not, then r = 0.

I applied this formula to my past relationships, one of which I wasn't "totally over" yet, and it worked perfectly. Maybe she'll help you too. But of course I hope much more that it is totally useless for you and that you have never been hurt.

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